Quickly Settled

The boys are back in Bangkok and we can only speculate what they're up to; their own private harems, cocaine at $70 a gram, imperial outrage as the Thais scuttle to serve, prepared to do anything and put up with anything for the massive tips they spray around. A thousand dollar tip over there excuses almost any behaviour. What a story, the only strange thing being that this one is true. I remember David so well, when he came to live with us at Tempe. The kids were only tiny then, only one and two, maybe two and three. He had a girlfriend called Venus, who herself had hippy parents hence the name, and he used to screw her endlessly in that wooden house. Venus got pregnant and the "adults" on both sides of her family swung immediately into action, forcing her to have a termination. Venus has two kids now and is living in New Zealand with some reportedly nice bloke. David has grown enormously in weight and volume, and is now making the headlines for all the wrong reasons. He's just unloaded 1.5 million shares in Jupiter mines. I think he gave the kids about 20,000 shares each but I haven't a clue where they are.

The story continues:

"And just as he did Anna showed up.
"They'd been sitting in a coffee shop with a group of people; someone had been going on and on about twelve-step programs, born again. The wonders of self-improvement, taking control of your own life. They exchanged glances. And the thought occurred to him immediately. I could sleep with her.

"She was pretty and had a nice smile and they slept together on their first date. They had sat on the balcony of his apartmente at three a.m., one of the best views of Sydney laid out beneath them. It had been time to go home or to go to bed. And she had shown no inclination to leave."

THE BIGGER STORY:


FROM THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD:

Are you drinking what I'm drinking, B1?
Mark Hawthorne
June 5, 2007

THE forecast dust storm didn't arrive in Abu Dhabi, but Jupiter Mines directors Jeremy Snaith and David Evans were given a timely reminder of what life in an Emirates prison would be like.

Temperatures soared above 40 degrees as the pair, along with another Australian traveller, William Sargent, arrived to hear evidence about their drunken antics aboard an Etihad Airways flight from Sydney to Abu Dhabi in April.

The three of them were questioned in Arabic by three judges. Their Australian lawyer, Ross Hill, who led Michelle Leslie's defence against drug possession charges in Bali, was unable to cross-examine witnesses, and affidavits about the condition of the Etihad plane were not allowed as evidence.

After several hours of deliberation, Snaith was found guilty and given a three-month jail sentence, suspended for three years.

Evans was found guilty and sentenced to a year in jail, suspended for three years. Sargent, who had taken prescribed medication and had no alcohol in his system, was acquitted of all charges.

So what started the "bananas in pyjamas" incident aboard Etihad flight 451?

A spokesman for the Jupiter Mines men, Sean Mulcahy — who also did the media work for Leslie in Bali — is adamant that the row started over the "poor condition of the plane".

"Seats didn't recline, TV screens didn't work and the air-conditioning wasn't functioning," he said.

"Not what you'd expect after paying $10,000 for a ticket. There were plenty of complaints from other passengers, and not just from the Jupiter Mines men. We have signed affidavits about this, but they weren't admissible in court."

But Etihad tells a much different story. It says that the men, after being refused alcohol, "tucked into their duty free".

"It doesn't matter which airline you fly, if you do that, you're going to get in trouble," said the Etihad spokesman. "They were warned about it, and they basically told staff to get stuffed."

What started the incident remains the subject of debate, but it's the alleged antics of the men during the flight that has excited intrigue.

Airline staff say the two Jupiter Mines men ran around the plane in their first-class pyjamas. A Melbourne Mining Club member has since joked that Snaith and Evans will forever be remembered as "B1 and B2".

One of the trio allegedly stripped and lay naked on a first-class reclining seat, refusing attempts to cover him.

Mr Mulcahy has admitted the behaviour of his clients might have been misinterpreted as "insensitive" to Arab custom, but says many of the allegations have been exaggerated. He said that Snaith was ultimately convicted of "being rude" to a flight attendant while Evans was found to have "touched an attendant on the arm".

There was no suggestion, in court, of sexual harassment or impropriety from any of the men. The flight attendant who made the most serious allegations did not appear to give evidence.

The three men were arrested on arrival in Abu Dhabi, but released on bail. Snaith and Sargent were later arrested again and sent to al-Wathba prison near Abu Dhabi. Mr Mulcahy told reporters that the men were living on "fermented camel meat", and were the only Westerners among 140 prisoners in a cell "the size of a tennis court".

After the sentences were handed down yesterday, confusion reigned.

Snaith and Evans, and their legal team, were not certain if they had been found guilty under Emirates law or sharia law.

Local papers reported that the men were being deported. Mr Mulcahy retorted that they "couldn't get out of Abu Dhabi fast enough".

"They will be taken back to prison to collect their things, taken to a police station to be released, and then we'll have them on the first plane back to Australia so they can get back to what they do best, make money."

Unfortunately, the only direct flight to Sydney was with Etihad.

"We'll be happy to fly them home if they have valid tickets," said Etihad spokesman Andrew Kirk, "we just won't let them near the bar."