Out Of What?

*

The towers went off in every direction, myriads of spikes heading off into the distance. Each contained thousands of stories. Sometimes he wished he could be part of all of them; embrace everything. From the street workers, the men pushing their trolleys of noodles, fresh fruit, drinks, through the benighted, chaotic streets. Everything came falling down at once. He saw some handsome Asian boy flirting with some fat American bastard in Soi Four, at the Balcony, and could see every bit of artifice that had been applied to him in that tricky face, the easy affection. He felt like a fool. Everything that had been applied to him. We'll look back and say, this was your drunk boyfriend, this was your getting sober boyfriend, this is your staying sober boyfriend, Jack, the gargoyle queen, had said. He felt a stab of I hope it isn't true; and in any event the years were marching so rapidly by it hardly mattered any more. Every trick had been applied to him. Oh what a surprise. They went and sang karaoke songs at Hot Male Station; it didn't convert to a disco until after one, usually more like two, when everyone came in from the other clubs, when handsome coyotes, male dancers, performed in the corners and smoke machines and lights added atmosphere. I have dirty boy for you, 18, some spruiker declared when he wandered 20 feet down the soi, restless, deeply restless. Those calls had disturbed him on some infinite level, and he was out of sorts at the cracks that had shown up in everything. Nothing was right.

And yet here he was, equally disturbed by the 300 page manuscript he had printed off with his newly acquired printer; all that power, all those years of frustration, all those years of seeing the world askance paid off in texts which picked apart every functioning moment of the world they had come from, the hypocrisy of the courts, the blind adherence of the media, the abhorrence of the talentless, herd like journalists who equally followed the precepts of the conformist masters above them. He was sick of it to the core. Originality was despised. It would always be thus. After decades of everyone deciding to think "outside the square", of mul-mul-mul-multiplicity every strange station, every askance thought, every tiny wave of originality, was abhorred. They travelled in packs, thought in packs. He couldn't bear it. No wonder you never get asked to share, the tubby ex-con said to him when he finally heard him speak. You don't give the gospel according to them. You don't say what they want to hear. They're a cult, he snapped back, suddenly weary and embarrassed; tired of being different, tired of the insomnia, the manic energy, the long walks when the rest of the city slept. More than anything he was tortured by the unfinished manuscript, by the hours it would take to complete the project, by a thousand possibilities which never occurred, by the lives he would never be a part of. He wanted to drape himself in everything, the street sweepers, the masculine security guards lounging in the front of buildings, or in the car park at the back of the Bangkok Bank, the sleepless beggars who still sat awake on the street despite the lack of passing traffic, the queens spilling out of DJs, the last of the massage boys lounging at the front of the Angkor Spa.

He could find comfort in the strangest of things, was already passing through the I don't know who I am phase, as the liquid desire splashed out on to concrete streets, as he physically recovered and mixed in different circles, as obsessions and destructive behaviours evaporated into the passing days; and now, it was just a matter of getting the work done. There would be rewards at the other end. Now was not the time. He watched the falangs, the foreigners, with their Thai or Asian boyfriends and felt stabs of the heart, caricatures of his true self, a dream scape filled with whites in a land of tiny brown men, pert, often astonishingly pretty women, of disco anthems and endless fascinations. These intoxications didn't belong to anyone any more. They were part of a dream scape which had morphed into reality; they were as much a part of the real world as the crushing morning crowds of office workers buying their favourite breakfasts and queuing for coffee in the morning crush along Silom. Everything was different now that he at last saw clearly. Confiding in no one, talking to no one, he would make it through this extra piece of desolation into the sunny uplands just as he had endured every other piece of misinformation and dislocation, only to wake up to Shawn and what he regarded as the perfect joke, characterising as it did so many sacred cows: a Catholic priest and a Jewish rabbi were walking down the street when they passed a 14-year-old boy. Ooh, I'd like to screw him, said the priest. Out of what? asked the rabbi.

THE BIGGER STORY:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/08/08/2976681.htm?section=justin

Prime Minister Julia Gillard has taken a swipe at former Labor leader Mark Latham after he confronted her yesterday, saying he is still struggling with the 2004 election loss.

Mr Latham is working on a story for Channel 9 and yesterday approached Ms Gillard in Brisbane, asking if Labor had made a complaint about him.

Nine Network CEO David Gyngell has since apologised for the incident.

The confrontation threatened to derail another day of campaigning for Ms Gillard who earlier in the day had met with her predecessor Kevin Rudd for the first time since he was deposed.

Ms Gillard has described Mr Latham's behaviour has inappropriate.

"Some people take election defeats better than others; I think Mark's still struggling a bit," she told ABC 1's Insiders program.

"I'm made of pretty tough stuff but I did think that this was inappropriate.

"We're in the middle of an election campaign; I'm the Prime Minister of this country. I'm not a human interest story."

Ms Gillard has conceded she has had some "hurdles" in her way during the campaign but is adamant she will not be distracted.

She described yesterday's meeting with Mr Rudd as positive and constructive, despite suggestions they looked uncomfortable together.

"I'll let other's engage in the pop psychology of one still image," she said.

Mr Rudd will today begin campaigning in some parts of Queensland.

Ms Gillard is campaigning in Darwin today as the Coalition officially launches its campaign in Brisbane, where leader Tony Abbott will outline mandatory prison sentences for anyone convicted of people smuggling.

But Ms Gillard says the Government has already brought in laws to crack down on people smuggling.

"In May this year, legislation went through the Parliament to toughen up on people smugglers, including those people who assist people smugglers," she said.

"We've got mandatory jail sentences in the current legislation."

But Opposition immigration spokesman Scott Morrison has told ABC News 24 says Australians are concerned about Labor's handling of immigration.

"This issue has got to where it is today because of the failure of Labor's policies," he said.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-10904903

More heavy rain in Pakistan is frustrating efforts to help about 12 million people affected by severe flooding in much of the country.

Helicopter missions in the north-west have been grounded and a red alert has been issued for the south.

One dam in Sindh province has been breached and engineers are warning that the huge Tarbela and Mangla dams are close to their maximum levels.

The worst floods in the region for 80 years have killed at least 1,600 people

Pakistan's meteorological office has warned that at least two more days of rain are expected in Sindh, where authorities have declared an "imminent" and "extreme" flood threat.

Further downpours are also forecast in the badly-hit north-western province of Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa.

"Things are getting worse. It's raining again. That's hampering our relief work," said UN World Food Programme spokesman Amjad Jamal.

Many helicopter aid flights in the north-west have been grounded by the bad weather.

The helicopters are essential in the region's rugged terrain because the floods damaged or destroyed most of the bridges, cutting off many survivors from relief.

"The situation is bad, particularly in the Swat valley, and we have advised people in low-lying areas to vacate their homes as river water levels are rising," said Adnan Ahmed, an official with Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa's government.

The deluge has brought the water levels behind the Tarbela and Mangla dams - two of the world's largest - dangerously close to their maximum, engineers warned.

A dam in northern Sindh's Kashmore district has already been breached, inundating large parts of the surrounding area with floodwater and forcing thousands of residents to take shelter on rooftops or in trees.

One man told the BBC said his entire village had been destroyed and all its livestock washed away.

The floods, brought on by seasonal monsoon rains, began in the north-west, but have now inundated a stretch of Pakistan about 1,000 km (600 miles) long, primarily along the Indus river and its tributaries.

With the flood surge heading south, authorities have evacuated more than half a million people living near the Indus river as hundreds of villages have been inundated by floodwaters.

Picture: Bangkok: Peter Newman.