Infinite Silence Infinite Melancholy

"The order of Trappist monks got it right - keep your counsel and maintain hope."
John Howard, deposed Prime Minister of Australia.

These were all the cruelties that came gushing out; the infinite longing and the sensation of being utterly lost; while all around is Christmas and celebration; other people's celebration. I didn't know what had become of me. I didn't know that the world was changing. He was teary for no reason and clung to things that were utterly pointless. The changing political tide was only fast in retrospect. At the time he had barely noticed anything. There were inappropriate tears and maudlin chaos. Get a grip get a grip. Then a man says brightly, "another day in paradise", and I look up, startled. Paradise? Not in here it ain't.

He looked up and around and was surprised by the number of faces he recognised in the crowd. Don was looking at him strangely; waiting for him to act. But what was he to do? Gesture to the police; indicate to them the man he thought was guilty. Explain that it was just a feeling; that his enhanced brain had triggled together the dots; that scene after scene kept flashing through his brain, neatly dated, neatly timed. Born with the lost twin syndrome; he kept thinking there was someone he could turn to, some advice he could take, some way to escape the gripping tendrils; the melancholy with which he was born. The pit of his stomach kept sinking, there was no way out.

Henrietta has left for Thailand and the house is much quieter. The politics had moved; so that he and his ilk were not just no longer fashionable; but no longer deserving. The Rudd government is all off to Bali to talk Kyoto. I ran into Bernadette today at a meeting in Newtown; and even she thinks it's all a crock. I was there in '92 and I helped draft it; she said. It's not just shite, it's worse than shite, she said. And yet everyone is in a grip, we're signing Kyoto and we've all moved on to a higher moral plain. The dogs keep whining at the back door; and I don't know, I really don't know, how to move from here back to the promised land; to "another day in paradise", to climb back into sanity and be happy again.

And then the phone rang, again. His boss, again. And he couldn't believe in this modern life of opportunity and colour and easy magnificence, that he had become a slave.

THE BIGGER STORY:

ABC:

Reporter: Rebecca Barrett
MARK COLVIN: Commonwealth-State relations got their first real road test since the federal election today, at a meeting of the nation's Health Ministers. And if we're to believe them, it was all sweetness and light.

The Ministers said after their meeting in Hobart that the blame game on health had ended. Their task was to begin discussing the next hospital funding agreement. The Federal Government had come with an offer of $600-million to start clearing elective surgery waiting lists around the country.

State and territory ministers now have a week to come up with plans to wipe out the backlog. The new Commonwealth money should start flowing early in the New Year.

Rebecca Barrett reports.

REBECCA BARRETT: By all accounts, it was a very unusual health ministers meeting.

It seems there was no sparring or even disagreement as the nation's all-Labor Health Ministers sat down together for the first time.

STEPHEN ROBERTSON: Today is the end of the blame game. Today is the first day where all state, territory and commonwealth health ministers are dedicated to working together to improve health care in this country.