*
I'm so hot I wish I could f... myself, Shawn declared enthusiastically on the phone, I keep catching sight of myself in the mirror and I'm transfixed, I can barely get out of the house. I wouldn't sleep with myself for a million bucks, he replied. Probably one reason I'm so generous to the Thai boys. All this banter while he tried to dispel the creeping sense of unease which had been invading his life for weeks. Where did the initial triumphs go? Why was he so worried? If all they did was pay for themselves, if the dancing boys beckoned from catwalks, dressed in their tight white underpants, what was the problem? Opportunities kept presenting themselves, but none of them were very ludicrous; none of them made ridiculous amounts of money. He was staunch and beknighted, glasped and clasped, groping and bewildered, craving affection and listening to the far off grunts, watching the lights come on and off in the building opposite as someone, he knew not who, moved from room to room in that gloomy, puzzling mansion.
Hot Male Station was owned by the same man who owned the go-go bar Hot Male down the road, surprise, and on the previous evening, when they went down to X-Size to watch the f...ing show, to satisfy or entertain the curiosity of one of their visitors, it became obvious that nothing was intended, that his hand was grasped as a display of ownership, that the current boy and the former boy both sat close to him for essentially the same reason, hoping for money, and if all was bewildered and all was lost in this world of Bangkok rent boys, going to the toilet confirmed it. The boards were coming lose from behind the urinal. He wouldn't like to see this place during the day.
Shadows were committed, fine shadows; and they began to arrive early. Hot Male Station did not turn into a disco until one a.m., prior to that it was a karaoke bar. The Thais loved karaoke but he wasn't sure it was improving his language skills, sitting there listening to so many love songs which made little sense. I love you, only you. Embarrassed by public displays of affection. All moved in unison. Nothing was to be watched. The coyote boys, the hot male dancers, came in about three each morning and added a bit of spice and professionalism to the dancing prancing young queens who went off their heads to the endlessly spliced disco tracks, where no single theme or song seemed to last more than a minute or two; and they were all merged together in an endless frenzy. Some of the old hands, who knew every track and surge, danced through every merge in perfect time. Others stood momentarily lost. Ancient things came crawling through the mud. Some things would never be the same. He was happy here. Baw number two, who now appeared to be guiding tourists to the bars in the gay zone, the Twilight Soi as it was sometimes known, for 100 baht every new customer they brought, latched on to him with a cheerful enthusiasm. He looked better than ever.
Perhaps a promiscuity was the only answer. Baw2 might have disengaged, heading back into the Twilight Zone to work more tourists, but the young boy from Chiang Mai in his tight white underpants made it clear enough they had a previous relationship, had played pool in one of those gothic Bangkok buildings he had come to know through the boys, those buildings full of working girls and strange twists of life; and sat closely, if unhappily, next to him for a good hour while on the other side Aek expressed all the affection of whiskey and ownership. Even on the way home, as they passed Prime, one of the boys, the prettiest, handsomest of all their boys as far as he was concerned, clasped his hands together in a greeting and beamed at him. His current lad was smart enough to know what that meant, and insisted, you have boyfriend? What's his name. Aek. Not some massage boy, not some go-go boy at X-Size, not some street spruiker, me. I'm the one who sleeps with you and makes sure you have breakfast and takes care of you properly; in a city seething with rent boys and foreign opportunities. Take it or leave it. Fate has dealt you a hand; and I'm it.
THE BIGGER STORY:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/08/29/2996462.htm?section=justin
Two of the key independent MPs say they think the election deadlock can be broken by the end of the week.
Four independent MPs are currently negotiating with Labor and the Coalition over who will form a minority government.
Two of those independents, Andrew Wilkie and Tony Windsor, say they aim to make their decision on who they will support this week.
"We're entering into a range of meetings this week. I would hope that by the end of the week we should be able to make a decision," Mr Winsor told Channel Ten.
But Mr Windsor also told ABC1's Insiders that "it could take a little bit longer than that".
He also says there is a small chance Australia will go back to the polls.
"I would say there is probably a 10 per cent chance," he said.
"I don't think it is likely, because I think there is genuine intent on behalf of both of the leaders to actually try to make something work.
"If I sense that that intent isn't there or there is undermining going, on or people just want a temporary parliament so they can go back to the polls in six months time, my vote may well opt for the people to make a decision."
Mr Wilkie is also keen to see an outcome, telling Channel Nine that he will make his decision "very soon".
"I would hope to make my decision Tuesday or Wednesday - that's what the people want," he said.
"I'm well aware that stability is very important, there is already a restlessness in the community that it's over a week since the election and we're still to know who is going to govern Australia for the next three years."
Mr Wilkie says he would be "very surprised" if the political situation takes a fortnight to resolve.
"It would be a bad thing for Australia, it would not be in the public interest to stagger on very long at all - I can't see it lasting that long," he said.
He says he will meet Opposition Leader Tony Abbott tomorrow afternoon and then hold more talks with Prime Minister Julia Gillard immediately after.
Standing alone
Mr Windsor and the two other incumbent independents, Robb Oakeshott and Bob Katter, have acted together so far in negotiations.
While the trio say they will make their minds up independently, they presented a list of requests to Mr Abbott and Ms Gillard last week.
Mr Wilkie, who yesterday claimed victory in the Hobart seat of Denison, is also presenting some requests to the leaders, but he has reiterated he will be acting on his own.
"I'm not criticising the other three independents, it's just not the way I want to go about my business," he said.
"People see them as operating as a bloc, they certainly presented a common list of concerns or demands to the Prime Minister and the Opposition Leader.
"That's their business - I think it's my business to be fiercely independent and just focus on what my electorate expects of me."
He also says he will not support either major party if they don't convince him they can deliver "stable, ethical, competent government".
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-election/independents-could-go-separate-ways-20100828-13wxs.html
THE bloc of three rural independents could split and negotiate separately in shaping the next government, amid deep divisions over key policy questions.
New South Wales MP Tony Windsor said it should not be assumed the bloc formed with fellow NSW independent Rob Oakeshott and Queensland MP Bob Katter to assist negotiations with the major parties would last. ''There is no three amigos in this. Anything could happen,'' he said. ''The three of us may or may not agree.''
Adding to questions over the tentative bloc, new Tasmanian MP Andrew Wilkie, who met Prime Minister Julia Gillard for the first time in Melbourne yesterday, said he had been careful to keep his fellow independents ''at arm's length''.
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''I am not going to go around in an apparent bloc the way they have done, and I suspect some people are a little bit uneasy about the way that bloc appears to have been formed,'' he said.
''Three or four independents standing together in a bloc looks like a political party, with factions.''
Mr Wilkie presented Ms Gillard with a two-page list of 20 issues he considers crucial in weighing up whether to support either major party, or sit unaligned. His push for poker machine reforms, including a $1 limit on bets and a cap on losses of $120 an hour, dominated their one-hour discussion at Treasury Place yesterday morning.
''I made it quite clear to the Prime Minister that the time for inaction has passed. With something like 100,000 Australians problem gamblers with poker machines, it is very, very important that the next federal government finally bring about some reform in this matter,'' he said.
''I reminded the Prime Minister that her own electorate is notorious as one of the electorates with the heaviest losses … and the Prime Minister is well aware of that and I believe she is genuinely interested in bringing about some kind of reform.''
Picture: Peter Newman.