Benevolence

The city could be kind, but he didn't feel that. He felt locked up and barely able to cope, barely able to apply the mask for one more day. This is a view of Coogee Beach at night. The city has been full of celebration, centred around Australia Day and the long hot summer. People were returning to work, putting back on the grim masks. Prosperity lodged in small sections of the population. He didn't know how to deal with many of the present situations.

The kids are back in Sydney but still with Suzy till the beginning of the school term. They've grown even in the month they've been away. I shouldn't have trapped myself but I did. Calls went back and forth and he just sat on the couch. He didn't want to move, didn't want to be bothered, didn't want to face it all again.

Outside there were the rich colours of the city, the gusts of heat, the strangers in the street. Voices called but his was not one of them. Marginal voices called him back to the centre. Saw Brokeback Mountain yesterday with Joyce and Stephen. Gay cowboys. It wasn't anything like what I expected, having more contemporary reference, bringing us closer to the present day, telling a story which could have been told hundreds of thousands of different times in a thousand different ways, early loves that spill down the decades. We all loved it. I have to go back to work tonight after four weeks off. He still wanted his bolt hole, he still wanted to escape. Summer still gripped the city in a fetid heat. There wasn't anything else he could do but survive another round.