A Dying Tomorrow

*

I opened a notebook, it read The Darlinghurst Years
I snapped it shut but out jumped some tears
I didn't have to read it, it all came back
Dragging my fingers through my hair
Hiding behind her back

Gut rot cappuccino, gut rot spaghetti
Gut rot rock'n'roll through the eyes of Frank Brunetti
And always the traffic, always the lights
Joe played the cello through those
Darlinghurst Nights

One more coffee and I must go
Back to my room more chapters to go
We'll meet up in an alley with more places I know

I'm going to change my appearance everyday
I'm going to write a movie and then I'm going to star
in a play
I'm going to go to Caracas because you know I'm
just going to have to get away

Marjorie and Kim, Andy and Clint, Debbie, Bertie, people came and went
And then there was Suzie who we never ever saw again

And always the traffic always the lights
Climbing that hill star studded nights
Joe played the cello

Alright.

The Go Betweens, Darlinghurst Nights.

So there were shadows; and the memories which kept playing could have been yesterday, they were so vivid. These days he was always awake at two and three in the morning, the nights crawling by. It was impossible to sleep. Six foot strangers. Sandy haired, handsome young men. We were all in this together. The ancient queens, or they seemed ancient to us, some of them were barely even 30-years-old, always circled. They all made it very clear that without money they were not available. The only way any of them would ever come across was if the customer was willing to pay. What did they think, they were doing this for fun? Love besotted queens were always the most lucrative, most willing to pay. He barely lifted a finger. he was the one to be worshipped. He hated the thought of touching them; and insisted there was always a bottle of scotch in the hotel room; so that he would remember nothing. Their hands, their mouths, creeping over him.

Alan said once, one afternoon when they were pissed and stoned, that he'd do it for nothing if he wanted, he didn't mind, they were friends, and they suspected he might really be gay; gay and happy, a poofter not yet old enough to be a queen. Hit me with your handbag, hit me with your handbag, they had chanted in the school. He was driving to East Maitland today, in the smart new environmentally friendly Prius, fuel efficient, fool resistant, like driving a toaster. He was shocked by everything, the thoughts which kept him awake throughout the early hours, the simpering sympathy he could not abide, the aches and pains of old age. He wanted to become the person he was capable of, the being he had denied himself. He wanted to fulfil his potential. Oh how he ached, his heart, and his eyes kept filling with tears for no accountable reason, and if all was lost, lost, these were manufactured emotions and beyond that was some other, greater distress.

He didn't understand what was happening to him. Previously, genius, major projects, had driven him through the restless nights. And as an oblivion seeker he fore swore common sense. He stepped off the edge of the cliff. He dived through into the darkness. He went, on tight arse Tuesday, to the movies; Startrek, the latest, where a young James Kirk Jr often found himself clinging astonishingly to the edge of cliffs. In tight, milli-second precise rescues. In amazing adventures. How good was that, his teenage son declared; and for once they were in complete agreement on a movie. Oh shadows, shadows, I can see you lurking in alcoves, standing in doorways, want some fun, hon?

He had always loved red light districts, and his own city was no exception, even though this half-arsed place, with its tawdry sex shops and the Piccollo Bar, a tiny cafe he had been going to since the late sixties, had always seemed a shallow reflection of its European sisters. As if, on the other side of the world, was a more genuine, solid, authentic place. Sydney, as travel writer Jan Morris had observed, had a transitory feel about it; as if man had impertinently built a city of glass and concrete on the edge of a great continent, and it could all be washed away at a moments notice. Two am and the sounds of shouting, arguing, partying, drift up from the Block on the still night air. He wanted to go back across his blog and delete the embarrassing bits; the grumbling right wing malcontent who had no place in a modern, progressive, left wing world; the drunken old queen who's stale breath left them winding down the car window; the earnest, disturbed young artist, the boy who was so badly bashed.

But all those voices, those personalities, formed an aggregate whole, and he resisted the urge to make himself more presentable. Sometimes darkness and flaws are the only windows the soul provides. He was surprised, but also deeply moved; and they came for him now, the vipers from the past, if only to ensure his troubled spirit remained productive, to mock the aging process, to find comfort where no comfort lay. Beware. Trust no one. And they urged others to trust; and he couldn't be free. Ignore what that wanker said; the old jail bird said; and he took to heart the psychic bullying, the weak preying on the weaker, the emotional vampires who were always going to take advantage of his vulnerability. He was strong, he could be strong, in a world not suited to his fragile spirit. His ancient home world had delivered him here; and he searched and searched for an explanation. There was none. He peered out at the humans who were sitting all around him and the sign came up in his head yet again: Trust No One. He could feel them reaching out, and he shuddered, just as he had shuddered all those years ago at their damp, clammy hands and their loving, fetid mouths.

THE BIGGER STORY:

http://www.skynews.com.au/news/article.aspx?id=345197

Govt hounds Turnbull over OzCar affair
Updated: 19:51, Tuesday June 23, 2009

Labor government ministers lined up, one after the other, to hound Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnbull in parliament over the OzCar affair on Tuesday.

Nearly 24 hours after a forged email caused the collapse of Mr Turnbull's case alleging Prime Minister Kevin Rudd had misled parliament, the government stepped up its calls for Mr Turnbull to apologise and resign.

While mystery still surrounds the fake email, which police suspect was fabricated by Treasury official Godwin Grech, Mr Turnbull admitted he had spoken to the public servant in the past two months.

'I mean Mr Grech is very well known and I have certainly spoken to Mr Grech. I know Mr Grech as I know many public servants in Canberra,' Mr Turnbull told ABC radio on Tuesday.

The Nine network reported on Tuesday night that coalition sources suggest Mr Turnbull and one other Liberal frontbencher had been communicating with Mr Grech for some time.

Federal police were continuing their investigation into the email, which they say originated in a computer in Treasury and was sent to Mr Grech's home computer.

ABC TV news reported police would question Mr Grech about a series of leaks from Treasury in the past year including adverse advice about the FuelWatch scheme and an email exchange between Reserve Bank governor Glenn Stevens and Treasury head Ken Henry about the bank deposit guarantee.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8112829.stm

There is an uneasy stand-off in Iran after a deadly weekend of clashes, and skirmishes on Monday between police and protestors. Four experts assess possible developments.

Kasra Naji

"My guess is that sporadic street violence will continue in big cities and at universities."
Kasra Naji, special correspondent for the BBC Persian Service
Professor Haleh Afshar

"Without the re-run of the elections the regime can only continue by extreme oppression."
Baroness Haleh Afshar, Professor of Politics & Women's Studies at the University of York
Karim Sadjadpour

"There are already signs that the opposition is entering a new phase of civil disobedience."
Karim Sadjadpour, associate at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace
Elaha Mohtasham

"Unless the demonstrations spread to other cities, it is difficult to imagine them continuing indefinitely."
Elahe Mohtasham, senior research associate at The Foreign Policy Centre in London

KASRA NAJI
What will happen next is anyone's guess. The fact is that both sides are weighing their options.

On the government side, there are signs that Iranian leaders are divided as to how to proceed and how to crush this movement. Some are more hardline than others. Some want to give some concessions to the opposition in the hope that it will be enough to calm tempers.

But Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei's hardline speech on Friday in which he again put his approval and seal on the election results, makes it difficult for the government side to back down even slightly.

On the opposition side, obviously, the realisation that the hardliners are going to use all means at their disposal, including violence, has led to some soul-searching. There is a debate about whether a nationwide strike is an option.

My guess is that sporadic street violence will continue in big cities and at universities and people will continue to shout "Allahu Akhbar" ("God is Great") from the rooftops every night.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25679882-26103,00.html

THE chance of an early election based on climate change appears to have faded for the time being after the Senate delayed a vote on emissions trading.

In the last week of Parliament before the long winter break, senators voted to consider other Bills ahead of the emissions trading scheme legislation.

That means a vote on emissions trading is unlikely this week.

It probably will not take place until August, which would kill off the chances of the Government getting the first stage of a double dissolution election trigger before the break.

In order to get a double dissolution trigger, the Government must fail to pass the same Bill twice, with a gap of three months between the two votes.

Nonetheless, the emissions trading scheme, due to get under way in 2011, appears doomed to fail in the Senate because no one likes it but Labor.

The Coalition teamed with two crossbench senators to push back the vote on the scheme today.

Climate Change Minister Penny Wong accused the Opposition of "playing political games''.

"They have been filibustering, wasting time, using every tactic they can to delay debate on this Bill,'' Senator Wong said.

It would now be "very difficult'' to find the time to debate the Bill this week.

Senator Wong urged the Opposition to allow for extended sittings of the Senate this week to get through all the Bills.