A Bunch of Keys

One day they poured a bucket of scalding water over him, ripping off his skin while it was still burning. Flayed to death. That unimaginable cruelty. Who were these people who did these things?

And then the edifice collapsed and beneath it was a tiny malformed screeching creature running around in desperate circles trying to evade the light.

And then it, too, disappeared. 

And in that magic realm of disembodied wings and floating voices, a creeping sense of everything, they tried to communicate a nobler, historic purpose, although he did not know what it was. He did not understand the nature of the project, yet to be announced. 

And so he went about his day.

The election was out of the starter's gate, but on the ground there was little, read zero, enthusiasm for either candidate. A choice between two bad, sad options. A choice between a pallid nothing and a less than bold conservative wedded, like his predecessors, to the Very Big End of Town. So the people they allegedly served were just a means to an end. Power. 

How to manipulate them. How to win their votes. And yes, on the ground nobody liked either of them. 

While the nation's hapless left wing media, a pathetic echo of the Democrats in America, labelled themselves progressives, and championed all the lost causes.

And those who paid for their merry jerking tax consuming hypocritical dance, they bided their time, sharpened their knives and grew dangerously pissed off as they struggled with the basics, petrol in the car, rents, mortgages, food, a once a week night out.

A curse on all your houses. For we can see what you cannot see. And we know what you are, truly are, behind all your swagger and pretence of helpfulness.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY

SKY NEWS

‘Fundamentals have not changed’: Dip in polling for Coalition analysed

6 hours ago

Sky News host Peta Credlin discusses the dip in support for the Coalition amid recent polling results.

“The last thing any Coalition supporter should do now, is panic. Just because the momentum we know the Opposition lost over the past couple of weeks has shown up in the polls … the fundamentals have not changed,” Ms Credlin said.

“There's still a cost-of-living crisis – and it is still Anthony Albanese's fault. Now, can the Coalition do better, helping Australians to understand who is responsible for this pain? You bet they can, by simply and repeatedly stating the facts, by hitting harder, because people are hurting and they're angry.”

GUARDIAN AUSTRALIA

It will be tough to attract international research talent if prestigious Australian Research Council fellowships are axed under proposed changes, researchers say, with lack of funding making the nation not “match fit” to take on Trump-led uncertainty.

The overhaul proposed axing most standalone positions in favour of shorter fellowships that are “embedded” into projects.

It would reduce the number of competitive grant programs from 15 to six, ending prestigious three-year fellowships for early-career researchers and four-year future fellowships for mid-career researchers.

ABC

Most Australians feel financially worse off, new poll shows. Charlotte says she feels ‘worthless’

SBS

A Chinese vessel enters the election fray on day three of the campaign - As it happened

Anthony Albanese has confirmed a Chinese ship is navigating in Australian waters, and criticised Peter Dutton's decision to live in Sydney if he's elected PM, during a packed day of campaigning.

NEWS

US President Donald Trump is doubling down on his desire to take over Greenland.

“We’ll get Greenland. Yeah, 100 per cent,” Mr Trump told US media yesterday.

“There’s a good possibility it could be done without military force,” he said, adding: “I don’t take anything off the table.”

The assertion came after a week where national security dominated US headlines.

THE NEW DAILY

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton will live in the emerald city instead of Australia’s coldest capital if he wins the May 3 federal election.

Choosing a main residence is one of the first decisions a prime minister must make after winning government.

A father has woken to his three children’s screams after their mother allegedly attacked the trio as they slept, stabbing them multiple times in the family home.

The 47-year-old woman is under police guard in hospital on suspicion she was trying to kill the children – aged 10, 13 and 16 – on Monday.

MACRO BUSINESS

How many times did Labor lie on energy prices?

SPECTATOR AUSTRALIA

And, sitting here in Labor’s black hole state of Victoria, where are the Liberal mainstream and social media adverts tying Albanese to the failed, incompetent and bankrupt state government of Daniel Andrews and Jacinta Allan? As a late-night YouTube watcher while the Morning Double Shot’s put to bed in London, not one of those irritating ads has been for the Liberals, let alone micro-targeting me as a Victorian.

Sources say the Coalition was prepped and ready for a 33-day election campaign based on the then-presumed 12 April election date. When Cyclone Alfred intervened, and Albanese postponed the election to May, it appears he caught his opponents on the hop – even though a 10 or 17 May election had been presumed, and presumably planned for, since well before the 12 April option arose.

Here are the key dates that interrupt the actual campaign period:

Term 1 school holidays across the states and territories: 7-28 April.

Easter long weekend: 18-21 April.

Anzac Day long weekend: 25-27 April.

Early voting starts: 22 April.

That’s a lot of the period when Australians will be distracted, their minds on other things than voting and the campaign. And, with millions voting early these days, there’s little point in holding back key policies for a final-week campaign launch, as the Coalition did in 2022 with its super for first home deposits initiative.

What this chaotic timetable means is this week is the only week of the election period not interrupted and disrupted by holidays of one sort of another, or clashing with early voting.

The Big Bang Week for the Coalition is now.

But what have we seen in hard policy from the Coalition since the election was called, and the first weekday effectively crossed off? Nothing. It appears the Coalition campaign hasn’t the agility to deviate from its 12 April strategy, even as Labor surges and the LNP drifts.

CRIKEY

Finally, an election where Murdoch doesn’t matter — and it’s News Corp’s own fault

After decades of media moguls acting as political kingmakers, we finally have an election where the Murdoch family just won’t have much of a say.

THE NIGHTLY

Regardless of the Federal election result, Anthony Albanese is finished as PM

The only impediment to Labor winning on May 3 is now Albanese himself.

And this is what’s keeping Labor awake at night. These polls show Albanese might well be suffering from a case of premature election, peaking too early with so long yet to go in this campaign.

Labor’s other challenge with these polls is that fear campaigns only really work if the other bloke is seen as having a chance, otherwise it’s all just pissing into the wind.

Having personally been in the room when Labor cooked up Mediscare 1.0 off the back of one IT outsourcing contract, I know it only worked because Malcolm Turnbull at the time was seen as likely to win.

It’s still early days and let’s not forget Albo’s best campaign week in 2022 was when he had COVID, and only the company of Toto and an excuse not to be a nightly reminder to voters that they detest his presence.

I really hope for Labor’s sake that Albanese doesn’t condemn the party to being a one-term wonder through his self-harming actions — his Voice disaster, the Copacabana retirement purchase, Qantas upgrades and son Nathan’s Chairman’s Lounge membership. Or mark Labor down due through his insipid weakness in government on everything from Beijing to Trump and actually fighting the cost-of-living crisis.

Albanese’s second term will be just like his first — handing out leave passes to Coles and Woolies to continue to game their long suffering consumers, kowtowing to China, handing out taxpayer grants to Ed Husic’s mates, all while turning a blind eye to home grown jihadis and a shocking rise in Anti-semitism.